PART 1

I. How will Indians date in 2025? Seven hot trends

Romance and dating have been timeless, inspiring love, connection and creativity across generations. With online and offline experiences increasingly intertwined, dating has become a space where self-expression and aspirations come together to build meaningful relationships. In 2025, the Indian dating landscape is poised for significant transformations, breaking traditional norms and embracing authenticity. Let us look into some key game-changing drifts.

Empowered women redefining dating: One of the most significant shifts in 2025 will be independent and financially stable women shaping their dating narratives. With increasing financial independence and evolving societal norms, women are prioritising their preferences and confidently expressing their desires. This empowerment fosters a culture of transparency and informed decision-making. The trend reflects a blend of traditional values and modern aspirations, emphasising on autonomy while respecting familial bonds.

Cultural chemistry: In India, dating trends are leaning towards finding a ‘cultural fit’ among individuals, reflecting a blend of modern preferences and traditional values. As young Indians embrace online dating, they are not only looking for shared interests but also for partners who align with their cultural backgrounds, family expectations and lifestyle choices.

Old school dating: Amid the rapid rise of online dating apps, many young Indians are rediscovering the charm of old-school romance. From handwritten love notes to face-to-face connections, there’s a growing nostalgia for slow-paced dating that values meaningful relationships over instant gratification. This trend resonates with the cultural emphasis on building deep connections, ensuring that relationships stand the test of time.

Mainstreaming dating: In metropolitan and urban areas, dating has moved out of its taboo status, for which the credit goes to cultural acceptance and the influence of digital platforms. Individuals now openly embrace their choices, reflecting a departure from conservative norms, creating a more inclusive and accepting environment for relationships to grow.

Beyond metros: Aspiring urban centres are quickly catching up with dating. With increasing internet access and urban migration, singles in these regions are adopting progressive dating norms. However, they seek a unique blend of traditional values while embracing the modern approach to dating. Familial bonds and structures continue to influence their decision-making when finding a partner, ensuring that their relationships align with both personal aspirations and cultural expectations.

Generational perspectives: Generational differences will continue to shape dating trends. Gen Z singles often adopt the NATO (Not Attached to Outcomes) philosophy, favouring experimental dating while being clear about exploring meaningful connections without the pressure of adding labels. This marks a shift from casual dating to a more open-ended exploration of relationships. On the other hand, millennials exhibit a sense of urgency, seeking connections grounded in long-term compatibility and shared values. Both generations, while distinct, reflect the broader narrative of India’s dating future – a harmonious blend of individuality and tradition.

A modern dating landscape: The Indian dating landscape promises to celebrate individuality, authenticity and emotional growth. While singles are shifting their focus from superficial connections to building relationships rooted in shared values, mutual respect and genuine companionship, societies are evolving and redefining how we see dating as a concept. India’s future of dating continues to be connected to its roots. As these roots are unique, they influence the emergence of different trends across generations and regions. This year is set to pave the way for a more inclusive and heartfelt approach to dating and relationships.

II. The Death of Love: Why Soulmates Are a Dangerous Myth

Love. Everyone grows up believing it’s the answer to everything—a magical force that completes us, saves us, and lasts forever. Fairy tales sold the dream of soulmates, of effortless connection, and of happily ever after. But as life unfolds, reality tells a different story. Love isn’t a perfect ending. The idea of soulmates, of someone who’s meant to be the solution to all problems, is a myth that sets people up for disappointment. It creates expectations that no one can live up to and leaves hearts broken when the fantasy falls apart.

Love was once sold as a fairytale. A prince, a princess, a rescue, and a happily ever after. A simple story, woven with glittering threads of hope and promise. But with time, the veil lifts, and love reveals itself as fleeting—a fragile dream that shatters under the weight of reality. The idea of “happily ever after” is a a thing. It teaches hearts to expect perfection, to believe that love is enough to heal all wounds, silence all fears, and withstand all storms. But love, in its rawest form, is far messier than that. It is selfish, it is flawed, and it is painfully human.

1. Selfish Love

Love today is controlling, seeking personal fulfillment, not selflessness.

Love today carries conditions, hidden beneath declarations of affection. People cherish others not for who they are but for how they fit into a personal fantasy. And just as hearts are won, they are unchosen, discarded when no longer convenient. True love, selfless and rare, has become misunderstood. It isn’t about sleepless nights filled with yearning or the rush of emotions that come with infatuation. True love sacrifices; it places another’s happiness above all else. Pain is felt when their heart aches, and joy becomes their smile. But the love of today is controlling, selfish—a force that seeks to reshape another, erasing individuality to fit a constructed ideal.

2. The Internet

Digital distractions make love feel shallow and disconnected.

The fairy tales never imagined a world of swipes, likes, and endless possibilities. In this digital age, love competes with a sea of distractions, each one shinier than the last. People no longer treasure what they have but instead search endlessly for what might be better. The search for sparks becomes futile when the fire within is extinguished. The ache for more—better, newer—stems from a loss of purpose, leaving hearts restless and disconnected. And so, love becomes another escape, a fleeting attempt to fill an ever-growing void.

3. Devotion

True devotion fades, leaving scars and lingering doubts.

Devotion once meant enduring storms and standing firm, even when the ground beneath trembled. It was worshipful, sacred—a love that asked for nothing and gave everything. Today, devotion often fades with difficulty. The moment a heart cries for help, it risks abandonment. Those who leave take more than their presence—they leave behind scars that whisper unspoken doubts: not enough, unworthy, unloved. And yet, love persists, even in the face of betrayal.

4. Patience

Modern love lacks patience and becomes unbalanced and exhausting.

True love is patient, gentle, and kind. It nurtures, forgives, and explains, handling the beloved with care, as though they are the most precious gift in existence. Love waits—not because it must, but because it chooses to. But in the modern world, patience is overshadowed by convenience. One partner forgives, again and again, while the other refuses to learn. Forgiveness becomes exhaustion, and love becomes unbalanced. When the patient soul finally leaves, it is not out of anger but love—a love that lets go, knowing it can no longer endure.

5. Letting Go

Letting go is an act of love, setting someone free.

Love that endures sees imperfections and cherishes them. It accepts flaws and embraces the whole, even when the whole is broken. Yet, sometimes, love demands release—not out of rejection, but devotion. Letting go is an act of selflessness. It means seeing the beloved’s struggles and setting them free, even when it breaks every part of the heart. It’s a quiet kind of courage, a love that whispers, “Be happy, even if it’s without me.” But in today’s world, the cycle of toxic relationships persists. People hold onto chaos, mistaking it for passion, unwilling to face the silence of being alone. Love becomes a game of holding on too tightly, suffocating the very thing it seeks to protect.

6. The Strength of Forgiveness

Forgiveness heals, offering peace despite betrayal or hurt.

Forgiveness becomes the ultimate act of love—not for the one who caused the pain, but for the one who carries it. Forgiveness does not erase the ache, nor does it forget the betrayal. It releases the weight, allowing the heart to heal. The memory of love remains, even when it is no longer deserved. A quiet acceptance lingers—a wish for happiness, for peace, for joy, even when those gifts are shared with someone else. True love, rare and resilient, asks for nothing in return. Love, with all its beauty and cruelty, teaches the hardest lessons. It is patient, it is kind, but it is also flawed, human, and painfully real. Yet, even in its darkest moments, love endures. In the wreckage of shattered dreams, hope remains—a quiet, unyielding promise that love, though broken, still holds the power to heal.

End of Part I… to be continued

PART 2 (March Edition)

III. Breaking Free from the “Good Girl Syndrome”: The Empowering Shift of Indian Women Embracing Imperfection

Picture this: your mother gazes at you with an expression that speaks volumes, and in that instant, you can almost hear her inner monologue echoing, “Why can’t you be more like [insert name of perfect cousin here]?” Indeed, this is a classic case of what some might refer to as “Good Girl Syndrome” at play. The timeless story unfolds, revealing the societal expectations placed upon Indian women to conform to a narrow definition of perfection. Imagine a box so diminutive that it feels like a mere token of acknowledgement, a nod to the art of selflessness that borders on the heroic. It’s the kind of prize that whispers of quiet victories and understated grace. In a surprising turn of events, women in India are declaring enough is enough. And I truly mean it—it’s finished.

The Perpetual Quest for Perfection

Facing the challenge of adhering to unattainable ideals of beauty and conduct.

Let’s delve into the relentless pursuit that many of us have engaged in for far too long: the quest for perfection. We all know the routine—lathering up those locks before every significant occasion as if your very existence hinges on it, cutting back on meals to a degree that would make even the tiniest of creatures blush, because this is the essence of perfection. In a world where perfection is the standard, the expectation is clear: you must embody flawlessness, effortlessly managing every aspect of life without so much as a hint of struggle. However, here’s a little secret: it’s a perpetual loop that continues indefinitely.

In today’s society, we find ourselves inundated with a constant stream of new insecurities, each week bringing fresh challenges to our self-esteem. Embrace the art of daily makeup application, or prepare for the inevitable enquiries about your well-being. Society bombards us with messages about our bodies, insisting we’re either too fat, too thin, or lacking in some way. The pressure to conform to these ideals can feel overwhelming. When working from home, it seems your husband can’t help but notice the allure of his attractive colleague, who shares the same remote lifestyle. However, step outside the home for work, and the dynamics shift dramatically; suddenly, your in-laws express their discontent, leaving you with no support in sight. Caught in a limbo, you find yourself navigating the expectations of two realms, each whispering that you fall short of their standards. In the quest for equilibrium, one often finds themselves adrift, grappling with the fragility of a foundation that was never truly stable. It seems inevitable that the structure was destined to crumble from the start.

The Impermanence of Perfection

Feeling empty despite trying to please everyone

We’ve all experienced that moment, haven’t we? Imagine a moment when every man in your life sees you as flawless, while every woman around you is left in awe, pondering the secret behind your effortless charm. Yet, amidst it all, an elusive element remains absent. It possesses an emptiness that resonates deeply. It seems insufficient, a sentiment rooted in the reality that it never truly was. In the relentless pursuit of an idealised image, many find themselves stretched thin, grappling with the pressures of societal expectations. This exhausting chase, however, is proving to be anything but sustainable. In a world where expectations loom large, many find themselves striving to become someone they are not, all in pursuit of a standard that ultimately feels foreign and unachievable.

Imagine a life where the to-do list never seems to shrink, each task seamlessly blending into the next, creating a perpetual cycle of obligations and responsibilities. Embodying the essence of a goddess, you find yourself navigating a world where looks, body, wardrobe, career, and an impeccable social media presence feel like an endless checklist of New Year’s resolutions that remain perpetually unfulfilled. Life is a constant evolution—your beauty may diminish over time, your finances may rise and fall, and the quest for external validation is an endless chase that can never truly satisfy. These pursuits are fleeting, and even if you attain them, they will never truly satisfy the emptiness within. Your sense of value is not derived from external factors.

True Worth Is A Reflection Of What Lies Within Us.

The essence of inner value remains steadfast, untouched by the whims of external validation.

Your true value transcends the number of likes you accumulate or the ideals of physical perfection. It’s about embracing your unique essence and recognising the depth of your character. It originates from the intrinsic worth that unites us all. Every individual enters this world with an inherent value that remains untouched, a quality that is unassailable and everlasting. We were crafted from a design that transcends our understanding. Doubting ourselves is, in essence, a denial of our own greatness. Embracing our flaws, we find beauty in our imperfections. Embracing our humanity is an intrinsic aspect of our existence.

The essence of our value transcends mere appearances and financial gains. Our actions define us. Our true essence is revealed through our actions, the emotions we evoke in others, and the presence we bring to the world around us. Discover the elements that truly nourish our soul’s purpose. Ephemeral and superficial elements, such as fleeting social media likes or a flawless complexion that glimmers in the sunlight, hold little significance. They will arrive and depart. What about you? Embrace the concept of eternity. Embrace your unique journey, for every stride you take brings you nearer to your destined destination.

Unveiling the Reality of Sacrifice and Self-Worth

Putting others first may not fulfil everyone’s expectations of you.

In a world where the pursuit of approval often overshadows our own needs, it becomes clear that no amount of sacrifice or effort to please others can guarantee universal acceptance. The reality is stark: you will never be enough for everyone. In a world where insecurities often loom large, some individuals find themselves ensnared in a cycle of bitterness. This discontent frequently manifests as a tendency to scrutinise and criticise those around them, serving as a projection of their own unhappiness. It’s often simpler to criticise others than to focus on personal growth. Ignore the naysayers. Those who attempt to convince you that your efforts fall short or that your presence is overwhelming. Embrace the reality that life is a singular journey, and the path you choose is yours alone. You are not obligated to conform to the expectations of others; instead, carve out a life that resonates with your true self. Now is the moment to silence the distractions and allow the supporting characters to remain in their rightful place. Embrace your true self; perfection is not the goal; authenticity is what truly matters. Life is a singular journey. Unified vision. Embrace life without reservations. Release the unattainable standard that was never designed for you and welcome the authentic, chaotic, and stunning version of yourself.

IV. The Allure Of Toxic Partners: Understanding The Attraction

Recurring toxic relationships frequently arise from a complex interplay of low self-esteem, unresolved trauma, insufficient boundaries, and codependency. These factors create a fertile ground for unhealthy dynamics to flourish, leaving individuals trapped in cycles of emotional turmoil. The intricacies of these patterns can leave individuals open to the subtle art of manipulation and control. To truly break the cycle, one must embark on a journey of self-reflection, seek the guidance of therapy, establish firm boundaries, and cultivate a strong sense of self-worth. Grasping the intricacies of healthy relationship dynamics equips individuals with the knowledge to make enlightened decisions and nurture meaningful connections.

The journey of attracting toxic partners can be both distressing and utterly exhausting, leaving many to wonder how they find themselves in such challenging dynamics. What might initially appear as mere bad luck or coincidence often reveals deeper psychological and behavioural patterns. These intricate dynamics can shed light on why certain individuals consistently gravitate towards toxic relationships. Identifying these patterns marks the crucial initial step in disrupting the cycle and cultivating more fulfilling relationships.

A toxic partner is someone who consistently brings negativity into a relationship, often through manipulative, controlling, or harmful behaviours. Their actions can lead to emotional distress and undermine the well-being of their partner, creating an unhealthy dynamic that can be difficult to escape.

A partner becomes toxic when their actions repeatedly undermine your emotional, mental, or physical well-being. Examples of such behaviours can encompass manipulation, insults, relentless criticisms, overwhelming jealousy, and a significant degree of possessiveness. In a complex web of interpersonal dynamics, some individuals may project their own struggles onto you, casting blame for the myriad challenges they face. This tactic often serves to create a sense of isolation, attempting to sever your connections with supportive networks, while simultaneously portraying themselves as emotionally fragile. Such behaviour can leave you questioning your own reality and support systems. They may exhibit dishonesty, overlook your needs, and engage in gaslighting—leading you to question your own reality. Toxic behaviours inevitably lead to a downward spiral of self-esteem, heightened stress levels, and a significant reduction in overall happiness. Recognising this behaviour is crucial for protecting your well-being and making informed choices about whether to confront the issue or step away from the relationship.

Some people are drawn to toxic spouses for the following reasons.

Struggling With Self-Worth

Low self-esteem stands out as a pivotal element that often draws individuals towards toxic partners. People who struggle with low self-esteem often grapple with feelings of unworthiness, leading them to believe they are unworthy of love and respect. This mindset can make them more vulnerable to tolerating subpar treatment from those around them. This dynamic can lead to a pattern in which individuals draw in partners who take advantage of their vulnerabilities. Toxic individuals frequently target those who struggle with self-worth, employing manipulation and control as tools to assert their dominance.

Unresolved Trauma From The Past

Present traumas, especially those rooted in childhood or previous relationships, often reveal themselves in the dynamics of current romantic encounters. Individuals who have endured abuse, neglect, or abandonment often find themselves unwittingly embracing harmful behaviours, becoming entangled in familiar yet toxic patterns. The cycle of repetition often draws individuals towards toxic partners, mirroring the traumatic experiences of their past. Through their understanding of various forms of recognition, individuals are able to break the cycle and cultivate more meaningful relationships. Engaging in therapy and cultivating self-awareness regarding past trauma can empower individuals to foster new, brighter, and more compassionate relationships, liberated from the burdens of previous wounds.

The Absence Of Clear Boundaries

One potential factor that may lead to the attraction of toxic partners is the absence of well-defined boundaries. Individuals who find it challenging to express their needs and boundaries often risk being overshadowed by partners who exploit this vulnerability. Establishing healthy boundaries is crucial in every relationship, serving as a safeguard against manipulation and mistreatment. These boundaries not only empower individuals but also foster respect and understanding between partners.

As A Result Of Extreme Co-dependency

Co-dependency emerges as a compelling dynamic, characterised by an overwhelming urge to nurture or dominate one’s partner. In relationships marked by co-dependency, individuals often find themselves placing their partner’s needs above their own. This tendency can create a significant imbalance, fostering an environment that heightens toxicity. This dynamic draws in toxic individuals who take advantage of the co-dependent person’s desire to please and adapt. This intricate interplay can take an emotional toll, hindering both individuals from reaching their full potential and personal development. Understanding and tackling co-dependency through therapy and self-awareness is essential for cultivating healthier, more balanced relationships. In these connections, both individuals can flourish and provide mutual support, creating a nurturing environment for growth.

Additionally, Attachment Styles Are Significant.

According to attachment theory, the bonds we form with our carers during childhood significantly influence how we connect with others in our adult lives. Individuals exhibiting anxious or avoidant attachment styles often find themselves drawn to toxic partners, creating a complex interplay in their relationships. Individuals grappling with anxiety often find themselves holding onto toxic relationships, driven by a deep-seated fear of being left alone. Conversely, those with avoidant tendencies might inadvertently repel nurturing partners, instead drawing in others who share their emotional distance or manipulative traits.

How Can The Pattern Of Attracting Harmful Partners Be Broken?

To break the cycle of attracting toxic partners, one must embark on a transformative journey that involves several essential steps. Engaging in self-reflection is essential for uncovering personal patterns and triggers. This introspective journey allows individuals to identify behaviours that may have contributed to previous toxic relationships.

Therapy and counselling can equip individuals with valuable tools to gain insight into pressing issues such as low self-esteem and trauma. Establishing and upholding personal boundaries is essential in safeguarding oneself from manipulation and disrespect. Enhancing self-worth through nurturing relationships and empowering activities significantly elevates confidence levels. Understanding the intricacies of healthy relationship dynamics and recognising red flags is essential for making informed choices in love and life.

Taking the time to truly understand potential partners and observing their behaviours can lead to greater compatibility and more organic relationships. This thoughtful approach fosters deeper connections and enhances the overall experience of dating.

End of Part II… to be continued

PART 3 (April Edition)

V. The End of the Conventional Wife: The Impact of Feminism on Love and Matrimony

For generations, the archetype of the “perfect wife” has been woven into the very fabric of society—a devoted homemaker, a nurturing carer, and a quiet supporter of her husband’s achievements. However, the landscape has evolved. The landscape of gender roles is undergoing a profound transformation as feminism boldly confronts and dismantles traditional archetypes. This shift marks the decline of outdated models, giving rise to a new generation of women who embrace their individuality and defy categorisation.

In today’s world, women are transforming the traditional roles of wife, partner, and individual, embracing new definitions and possibilities. As they liberate themselves from the constraints of societal norms, a compelling question arises: The demise of the traditional wife: a potential threat to the institution of marriage, or could it be the key to its revival?

The Traditional Wife: A Rare Gem in Modern Society

The Journey of the Contemporary Wife

Throughout the ages, the institution of marriage has often prioritised survival over romantic affection. In a traditional setting, women embraced domestic roles, meticulously ensuring that the household operated seamlessly, while men assumed the mantle of financial providers. This intricate dynamic emerged not from mere choice but from a compelling necessity, deeply woven into the fabric of culture, religion, and economics.

The emergence of feminism in the 20th century challenged and transformed these established norms. Women started to assert their desires for greater autonomy: the right to vote, pursue careers, and embrace independent lifestyles. As feminism has evolved through the decades, the archetype of the traditional wife has shifted from being a societal expectation to a personal choice.

In today’s world, she stands on the brink of extinction. Today’s wives are redefining roles as they step into the shoes of CEOs, take charge as breadwinners, champion causes as activists, and embrace life as adventurous spirits. In a bold move, they are embracing ambition and setting aside traditional expectations, determined to place their own aspirations at the forefront rather than prioritising their partners’ needs.

The Evolution of Feminism and the Modern Wife

Transitioning from a state of obedience to one of equality marks a significant evolution in societal dynamics.

The impact of feminism extends beyond the workplace; it has fundamentally reshaped the institution of marriage. Women are stepping into unions as equals, embracing their rightful place alongside their peers rather than as subordinates. In the pursuit of meaningful collaborations, they emphasise the importance of mutual respect and a commitment to shared responsibilities. The era has shifted, leaving behind the notion that a woman’s value is defined solely by her culinary skills or the cleanliness of her household.

In today’s society, the pursuit of marriage has shifted for numerous women, who now view it as just one of many paths rather than the ultimate destination. In the pursuit of fulfilment, careers, passions, and personal growth emerge as the cornerstones of a meaningful life. When couples decide to tie the knot, they are redefining traditional norms: sharing household responsibilities, emphasising the importance of self-care, and championing both emotional and financial autonomy.

However, this transition has not been without its challenges.

Exploring the Male Perspective: Is Marriage Still Worth It?

In a world where women are increasingly asserting their independence, a notable sentiment among some men is one of feeling sidelined. In today’s evolving landscape, the concept of traditional masculinity—characterised by the expectations of being the provider, protector, and head of the household—appears to be losing its significance amidst the rise of feminist ideals.

For generations, countless men have found their sense of identity and self-esteem deeply intertwined with the fulfilment of these traditional roles. In today’s evolving landscape, men find themselves navigating a fresh dynamic where their wives stand not merely as partners, but as equals—or even superiors—when it comes to income and ambition.

The recent changes have sparked a rising wave of disillusionment among certain men. The “Men Going Their Own Way” (MGTOW) movement presents a compelling narrative, suggesting that marriage has lost its appeal for men. Advocates of this perspective depict contemporary wives as increasingly demanding and self-centred, raising questions about the traditional institution of marriage.

Yet, these stories overlook a crucial aspect: the new wife is not dismissing her husband; rather, she is inviting him to engage with her as an equal partner.

Rethinking the Concept of Marriage

The end of the conventional role of the wife does not signify the demise of marriage; rather, it presents a chance to redefine and reimagine the institution itself. In today’s world, partnerships thrive on the foundation of shared aspirations, deep emotional connections, and a commitment to mutual development, moving away from the confines of rigid roles and antiquated expectations.

In a refreshing shift from traditional norms, couples are embracing innovative approaches to share household responsibilities, moving away from the expectation that wives should solely manage the home while men focus on their careers. Paternity leave, remote work options, and collaborative parenting are emerging as the latest trends in modern family dynamics.

Furthermore, a growing number of men are wholeheartedly welcoming this transformation. In a transformative journey, these individuals are embracing their roles as nurturing fathers and supportive partners. They are redefining masculinity, stepping away from the constraints of outdated stereotypes that once held them back.

Exploring the Evolution of Love and Marriage

Embracing a New Era of Equality, Affection, and Genuine Collaboration

The future beckons with endless possibilities. Could the decline of the traditional wife signal the end of marriage as we know it? Not quite. In an unexpected twist, the institution of marriage is emerging more resilient than ever. In a transformative shift, couples are discarding antiquated roles and expectations, paving the way for relationships that thrive on fulfilment, resilience, and adaptability in today’s fast-paced world. Change, as we all know, is rarely a walk in the park. As society evolves, a divide emerges: some individuals will grieve the fading of traditional norms, while others will revel in the liberating opportunities that feminism presents. One undeniable truth emerges: love and marriage are undergoing a transformation—and it’s a positive one.

In today’s world, the narrative has shifted dramatically; wives are now embracing their aspirations without the need to compromise for their partners. In a remarkable display of partnership, they are crafting their lives side by side as equals, each contributing unique strengths and aspirations to their shared journey. It’s not merely the end of a marriage; it’s the dawn of a new partnership.

The end of the traditional wife archetype marks not a loss but a celebration of advancement and evolution in societal roles. Feminism has ushered in a new era for women, breaking the chains of antiquated expectations and empowering them to carve out their own identities within the realm of marriage.

The transition, though challenging for some, is paving the way for stronger and more egalitarian partnerships that promise to reshape dynamics for the better. The era of the traditional wife may have faded, yet emerging in her stead is a contemporary woman who is reshaping the very essence of love, marriage, and partnership.

VI. How Women Are Trapped in Bitter Marriages by the “Good Wife” Syndrome

In countless homes, a subtle yet profound tragedy unfolds—one that rarely captures the spotlight or sparks impassioned speeches, yet it etches deep, unseen wounds into the fabric of everyday life. It’s the story of the woman who remains steadfast. Driven not by affection or joy, but by a sense of obligation. Over the years, she has internalised the notion that the essence of being a good wife lies in the ability to endure.

1. Crafting the Ideal Partner

Minor concessions gradually lead to a complete loss of self.

It begins with the little gestures—subtle changes inspired by affection. She overlooks his forgetfulness, his minimal effort, and his struggle to connect with her on her level. She reassures herself that she is being compassionate. This is simply the nature of men. In her mind, love is a tapestry woven with threads of sacrifice. Indeed, it embodies that sentiment in numerous aspects. Yet, sacrifice should be embraced as a collective endeavour, rather than a quiet capitulation. She discovers the art of expressing regret for her feelings of neglect. She reminds herself to hold back—avoid being overly emotional, excessively needy, or too demanding. She embodies a remarkable sense of pride in her patience, showcasing an extraordinary ability to navigate the depths of loneliness even within the confines of a partnership. She refers to it as strength. Unbeknownst to her, a subtle transformation has been taking place—she has been shrinking.

2. The Burden of Quiet Resilience

Women persevere, holding steadfast to the belief that it is their responsibility.

Women who find themselves in this pattern do not remain due to a lack of strength. They remain, fuelled by a resilience that manifests in unexpected forms. Many individuals hold the conviction that they can shoulder the burdens of an unbalanced relationship, and indeed, they persist in doing so. In a world where familial bonds are paramount, some individuals take it upon themselves to prioritise the unity of their family above all else, often at the expense of their own desires and needs. In a society that often glorifies the notion of silent suffering as a noble trait, many women find themselves ensnared in a narrative that suggests they are actively choosing this path. Yet, the truth reveals a different story—one where the expectations of a world enamoured with the idea of female endurance dictate their reality. The sorrow extends beyond the mere unhappiness of these women. It appears that there is a growing sentiment among individuals that they are no longer entitled to seek greater opportunities or improvements in their lives.

The Falsehoods We Call Love

In the world of relationships, love thrives on reciprocity, flourishing when both hearts are engaged. It should never be a solitary journey, but rather a shared experience that brings joy and connection.

Women are often reminded that love embodies patience. Love embodies kindness. However, it is seldom communicated that love ought to be mutual. Love should never evoke a sense of solitude. A relationship should empower a woman to shine brightly, rather than diminish her essence for the sake of a man’s comfort. Leaving a marriage that leaves one feeling emotionally deprived is not a sign of failure for a woman. It is, in fact, a courageous step towards self-empowerment and fulfilment. Desiring more than just the bare minimum is not an act of selfishness; rather, it reflects a deep-seated aspiration for fulfilment and growth. Choosing oneself is not a sign of weakness; it is an act of strength and self-empowerment. Despite the desire for change, countless women find themselves staying put—not due to a lack of will, but rather a profound sense of disbelief in their own ability to break free. Many individuals have been conditioned to believe that remaining in difficult situations is a mark of virtue, while the pursuit of personal happiness is often viewed as a selfish act.

4. The Ability to Be Beyond “Good”

Embracing the role of a devoted partner does not necessitate losing oneself in the process.

The solution to the Good Wife Syndrome isn’t simply about defiance for its own sake. It’s not about walking away from relationships at the first hint of difficulty. Understanding the moment when love shifts into a sense of duty is crucial. Embracing the notion that being a good wife does not equate to fading into the background is essential. Being a good wife should not mean sacrificing the right to lead a happy and fulfilling life. As you delve into these lines, if you find a reflection of your own experience—if the burden of quiet perseverance feels heavy upon your shoulders—understand this: Desiring more for yourself is not an act of selfishness. Embracing the pursuit of joy is a journey worth taking. In a world that often feels isolating, it’s important to remember that you are not alone. A thriving marriage embraces a woman’s individuality, allowing her to shine rather than fade into the background. Perhaps the issue lies not within you, but rather in the narrative you’ve been fed about the ideal wife.

End of Part III… to be continued

PART 4 (May Edition)

VII. The Shift: Indian Women Opting for Divorce Instead of Enduring Unhappy Marriages

In a transformative shift, Indian women are beginning to recognise that a marriage devoid of love and respect is merely a co-living arrangement, sparking a new conversation about the essence of partnership. Divorce is often mischaracterised as a failure, but in reality, it embodies the bravery to leave behind what no longer fulfils you. It’s a powerful declaration that resonates with the sentiment of self-worth, igniting a subtle yet impactful movement.

Ultimately, marriage revolves around a singular, profound concept: the daily choice to embrace one another, infused with love and purpose. Is there anything that falls short? Staying just isn’t worth it.

1. The Hidden Struggles Within Our Walls

Women in toxic marriages suffer due to emotional manipulation and gaslighting.

Let’s delve into the type of suffering that often remains unspoken at family gatherings. Abuse manifests in various forms, and while physical abuse is unfortunately prevalent, it is not the only type that exists. The relentless emotional manipulation, the subtle belittling, and the insidious gaslighting can gradually erode a woman’s sense of self, leading her to question her own reality.

The unfaithful spouse casts a shadow of doubt, leaving her to grapple with feelings of inadequacy, as if his fleeting gaze serves as a mirror to her perceived shortcomings. The narrative unfolds around the addict, whose recklessness transforms into a heavy burden, and the man who, despite his disinterest in his wife, anticipates her to seamlessly embody every role—carer, homemaker, mother, and therapist—all without a hitch. As she reaches her breaking point, the suggestions that come her way are nothing less than maddening: “Why not dress up a bit more?” “Prepare his favourite meals,” “Just be a little more polite.” The message is unmistakable—her joy is secondary; her value is measured only by the stability of her marriage. Why should a woman remain in a marriage where her efforts are not reciprocated? Why should she accept a partner who fails to recognise her worth, much less appreciate it?

2. The Negative Impact of In-Laws

The dynamics with in-laws can often create chaos and emotional distance, resulting in a complex tapestry of family relationships that many navigate with caution.

In numerous Indian households, the cycle of toxic behaviour often extends beyond just the husband. Enter the in-laws—particularly those who seem to revel in stirring up a whirlwind of drama. The couple finds themselves in a tug-of-war, where misunderstandings flourish and emotional gaps widen, creating a dramatic rift in their relationship. In many cases, the husband’s mother, having experienced years of neglect in her own marriage, may find herself unwittingly—or at times, quite deliberately—continuing the cycle of suffering that she once endured. In a poignant tale of emotional neglect, her husband, along with her father-in-law, left her to navigate the challenges of life on her own, shouldering the weight of her burdens in solitude. In a poignant twist, she channels her longing for care and attention into her son, transforming him into the emotional support she yearned for but never received. In a poignant twist of fate, he inadvertently places upon his wife the very same weight of suffering that his mother once bore, thus continuing the relentless cycle of neglect rather than forging a path towards equality and partnership. In many relationships, a husband may find himself caught in a web of obligations, often prioritising his mother’s needs over those of his wife. This misplaced sense of duty can lead to a troubling oversight: the fundamental promise he made to his partner. It’s essential to recognise that the vows taken in marriage emphasise a commitment to one another, not to external familial expectations. Isn’t it fascinating? In a striking contrast, the devoted son who would go to great lengths for his mother can quickly transform into a petulant child at the mere suggestion of a visit to his wife’s family. The glaring double standard is becoming increasingly intolerable for women everywhere.

3. Lack of Chemistry and Relationship

Many marriages today are grappling with a noticeable absence of intimacy and emotional connection.

In the realm of Indian marriages, there exists an unspoken reality: a significant number of these unions are devoid of fundamental emotional and physical intimacy. In a world where love and connection are often celebrated, there exists a stark reality for some women: they find themselves wed to men who remain strangers, indifferent to their existence. These unions lack the warmth and effort that make relationships flourish, leaving many feeling unvalued and overlooked. He perceives her merely as a tool for his ambitions—a source of offspring, a steward of his household, a convenient companion.

In a landscape where emotional connections are paramount, many Indian men find themselves at a crossroads, often overlooking the profound emotional depth their wives yearn for. This oversight extends to the intricate nuances of female pleasure, which is frequently dismissed as trivial, leaving a significant gap in understanding and intimacy. In a society where conversations about intimacy often remain shrouded in silence, a significant number of Indian men find themselves lacking insight into the nuances of female pleasure. This gap is not merely a matter of knowledge; it reflects a broader cultural hesitation to explore and understand the complexities of female desire. In this dynamic, intimacy is often perceived as a one-sided affair, where personal gratification takes precedence, resulting in wives feeling neglected and emotionally distant.

The most heartbreaking aspect? Countless women remain unaware of the joys that await them, simply because the conversation around their pleasure has yet to be fully embraced. The allure of romance? Absent from the scene. The endeavour? Utterly imbalanced and amusingly skewed. Ah, the enchanting honeymoon phase! It’s that magical time when everything feels new and exhilarating, a blissful period filled with romance and discovery. Couples often find themselves lost in each other’s eyes, savouring every moment as they navigate the thrilling journey of love. This phase is characterised by a sense of euphoria, where even the simplest gestures become extraordinary. The concept of a honeymoon phase seems to be a fading memory. For numerous Indian men, the wedding day appears to be viewed as the culmination of their efforts, rather than the beginning of a new journey. The idea of dating after marriage—whether it’s planning a special outing, delighting her with thoughtful surprises, or simply engaging in genuine conversation as if she’s a cherished companion rather than a duty—seems almost alien to them. While he neglects to plan dates or enquire about her day, he finds ample time to scroll through Instagram reels for hours on end. The emotional vacuum enveloping her feels utterly suffocating. She yearns for that fiery connection, for a companion who gazes at her as if she is the centre of the universe. In a perplexing twist of marital dynamics, she finds herself questioning why her husband perceives her as mere background noise while demanding that she centre her entire life around him.

4. Unseen Efforts, Male Dynamics, and Diminishing Radiance

She is unable to identify herself.

It’s a curious phenomenon: families are willing to invest lakhs in a grand wedding celebration, yet they hesitate when it comes to bringing in household help. What drives this disparity in spending priorities? As she glides into her new life, the enchanting bride, who is destined to dazzle on her wedding day, suddenly finds herself burdened with an endless array of thankless tasks the moment she crosses the threshold of her new home. The weight of cooking, cleaning, managing the household, and raising children often rests heavily on her shoulders. This demanding role frequently goes unrecognised, with little to no support in sight. The outcome? She becomes utterly absorbed in the moment. Her health deteriorates, her aspirations diminish, and the radiance that once characterised her life disappears beneath the burden of ceaseless obligations.

Marriage is meant to be a shared journey, not a solo endeavour. To truly make a woman feel like an angel in your home, it’s essential to cultivate an environment that feels heavenly. Simply handing her a mop and expecting her to conjure up a paradise from nothing won’t do the trick. In the delicate balance of partnership, when a husband hesitates to take the lead, his wife often finds herself stepping into that role. This shift can evoke a powerful, yet exhausting, masculine energy that ultimately leaves her feeling drained. She transforms into the nagging wife, the overworked mother, the exhausted homemaker—not by desire, but by necessity. The effects of this imbalance become increasingly apparent, manifesting as stress, hormonal disorders such as PCOS, and the unsettling signs of premature ageing. Marriage should never diminish a woman’s essence or individuality. It is designed to elevate her spirit, ignite her passion, and provide her with a companion who resonates with her vibrant energy.

In a world where traditional roles often dictate the dynamics of family life, she finds herself dedicating countless hours to the kitchen, crafting meals that are meant to bring everyone together. Yet, the irony lies in her solitude at the dining table, as the expectations of a “good wife” overshadow the joy of shared moments, relegating her to the role of a server rather than a participant in the family gathering. Why not alleviate the fatigue and consider bringing in some assistance? In this dynamic, your wife transcends the traditional role of caretaker; she steps into her rightful place as a queen by your side. Together, you can revel in the life you’ve crafted, sharing the spotlight rather than her merely orchestrating the behind-the-scenes efforts.

End of Part IV and the series