Uplifting: And Still, I Call It Beautiful

AND STILL, I CALL IT BEAUTIFUL

A Conversation with God

I have come this far, Lord,
With more questions than answers.
Some dreams faded before their time,
Some people I thought would stay
Left silences I still carry.

I have questioned Your silence,
Wondered why goodness sometimes falters,
Why love must sometimes leave,
And why prayers offered through tears
Do not always find the answers I seek.

I have been angry with life,
Disappointed with people,
And sometimes, Lord,
Even bewildered by You.

Yet beauty kept appearing
In the most unexpected places.
A flower where nothing should grow,
A stranger’s kindness,
Laughter returning after grief,
The quiet promise of another morning.

And slowly, I began to understand
That I could thank You for this life
Without pretending it was perfect.

Sorrow had not taken everything.
I could still love after loss,
Believe after disappointment,
And remain gentle
When the world had not been gentle with me.

You did not spare me every wound, Lord,
Nor give me everything I asked for.
I cannot explain every sorrow,
And I will not pretend
To have accepted them all.

But I see now
How many gifts arrived without my asking,
How many blessings I had failed to recognise,
How much I had mistaken for ordinary life
While counting what I did not receive.

Was that Your kindness, Lord?
Was that Your mercy?

Perhaps I shall never understand
The mysteries of Your ways.
But I have lived long enough to know
That pain is not the whole of life,
Nor loss its final meaning.

So here I am, Lord,
With my unfinished dreams,
My unanswered prayers,
And an imperfect heart
That has loved and lost,
Been broken and healed,
And somehow learnt to love again.

And if You ask me
What I make of this life,
With all that it has given
And all that it has taken away,

I shall smile,
Perhaps with tears still in my eyes,
And say…

It was never perfect.
It was not always fair.
It was sometimes unbearably painful.

But Lord, it was beautiful.

And through all its imperfections,
Through everything I understood
And everything I never will,

You have been kind.
You have been merciful.

And for the gift of life itself,
I am grateful.

~ Melwyn Williams